Nostalgia Thou Art Evil

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So I’ve gone off the beaten path with my last couple of posts. I think it’s because I’m working on a story about remembering and I find myself remembering things about my life, but not only that, I find myself thinking more about my kids.

My oldest son is at that age when things are moving so quickly. I blinked and he was in high school. The day I dropped him off for kindergarten replays through my mind every time he gets behind the steering wheel of my Ford Explorer to drive us to school in the morning. This is my little boy, but it’s more than those feelings.

My son is going to the same high school I went to and my brothers went to. Yes, it has changed here and there, they’ve changed the lockers, added new paint and there have been a couple of building additions, but this is MY high school. His feet are walking on the same floors my 13,14,15,16,17 and 18 year old feet did. He stands in the same classrooms where I took tests, learned about Biology and hated every single math class. I was there and he was there tucked away in DNA that would become the wonderful young man he has become.

It wasn’t my plan to raise my kids in my hometown. In fact I had dreams of escaping to the big city where I would make my fortunes in music. Love changes your mind so quickly. I tossed away my second plan to teach history at a military academy because I was in love with a wonderful man from Michigan. My life didn’t seem complete without him and I had to be with him.

We made a deal. Whoever could find a place to live first, would dictate where we lived once we were married. Just weeks after we made that deal, I found a wonderful place to live in my hometown. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and we took it. It was fate because I am so thankful we are living here and raising children in this very rural town. It was the right fit for the kind of family we wanted to create.

I’m not saying it has always been easy, but it has been fun. We bought a house, had three children and now my oldest is turning into a wonderful young man. I am truly thankful for his giving heart and his loyalty to those around him. He is a tough young man, playing football for almost 10 years now and hardly ever making a fuss about the work and dedication it takes. It gives me a chance to be a crazy football mom and also a chance to see him grow and become something more than just a football player.

There is a lot to be said for missing the young boys who once snuggled in our arms, but there is a lot to be said for the wonderfully insightful people they become as they grow into adulthood. Is it easy? No, but if it was, it would never be worth doing. It would be something everyone did, but the dedication it takes to be a mother is something not everyone can handle and some days I’m not sure I’m doing it right either. It’s okay though because we learn through the mistakes and somehow, through the grace of God, these young boys turn into wonderful men.

I am getting to meet part of that man now and can’t wait to meet the rest when he arrives.

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