Everyday I’m Shufflin’

o1gorj

Oh……the doubt. I want all the writers out there who have never doubted their work to stand up. *eerie silence*

That’s what I thought. Doubt is killing me. It’s killing my writing. After weeks of not hearing from anyone who I sent the book to for a read through, I’ve decided to not even ask anymore. I think the silence speaks loud and clear. The book was a total suck of their time. The beginning sucked, the middle sucked and the ending sucked out loud.

So with all those sucking noises going on around me, I’m off to bigger and better things. Okay, so they really aren’t bigger and better, but they are other things.

Abandon my idea? Hell no! This idea has merit. It wants to be told and I might be the only person who could tell it. Maybe I could tell someone the story and they could write it down with all their excellent and perfectly put together words. There are always options, but I know I want to be an accomplished writer. If I want to be an accomplished novelist, then I have to feel this doubt.

I’m sure there are writers who have sold thousands of books who still doubt every word they commit to paper (or computer screen). I don’t think it will ever end. There will always be the voice inside laughing away at the fact that I think I might be a writer.

The silence has done little to help. I am now self conscious about my work. I’m afraid to ever show it to another living soul. I don’t know how I’m going to get over this, but there has to be a magic button to help me. Chocolate is a magic button, right?

My husband tells me to keep my head up because he knows I can write. That’s all fine and good coming from someone who loves you, but the real world doesn’t love me like he does. I have to be ready for the real world to jab at me. I’ve felt it over the past several weeks.

It hurts.

Until next time remember, The Community is watching!

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One thought on “Everyday I’m Shufflin’

  1. Keep your chin up! One of the worst things about being a writer is the patience involved in hearing back from people who read your books. And…you know…actually allowing yourself to be satisfied with what you hear back, especially if it’s good…and realizing that not everything will work for everyone…

    Okay, actually, there’s a lot of terrible things about being a writer. Hopefully you enjoy the writing and focusing on the little things…because there are some amazing little things that can happen, if you’re willing to keep an eye out.

    Liked by 1 person

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